The last 4 1/2 -5 years of fertility treatments were the worst, yet most meaningful, years of my life. During those years Zach and I became the couple that God needs us to be to shepherd this little girls heart to Him. We both realize that we aren't the 2 main ingredients running through Bennett's DNA, He is!!! And it's taken Him this long to condition our hearts, our minds and our support of one another to prepare us for this next journey in life...BENNETT NICOLE!
What I expected:
to be in love
to be a nervous wreck the whole pregnancy (because of 3 miscarriages)
to worry about every little thing
to only throw up the first few weeks
to stop gagging every time I brush my teeth
to not add stool softeners to my favorites list
to not have nose bleeds EVERY morning
to only have swollen hands and feet every now and then
to be able to still bend over and get up the same way
to be able to crawl out of bed the same way
to still look cute in a swimming suit
to feel little moves and kicks
What I had/have:
is more love flowing through me than I ever imagined!
is the peace that can only be from God!
is the comfort of knowing that He is in charge and loves Bennett more than I will ever know!
is so much nauseousness up until about 15 weeks ~ coffee smell still NOT good!
is still gagging while brushing ~ will this ever go back to normal?!
is wanting to buy stock in stool softeners!
is nose bleeds EVERY morning!
is SWELLING on these hot days!
is running to tt every time I bend over!
is making a plan just to get out of bed without stretching the wrong way!
is a new tankini that I'm making work till the end of summer! ;)
is waking up each morning just to feel all those sweet little moves and kicks!
I thank Him for giving us those 4 1/2-5 years to prepare for His sweet blessing, I thank Him for all these changes that I've had to make in my life so far (and the many more changes to come) because I know my body is doing exactly what it needs to do to keep Bennett healthy and I thank Him for giving Bennett a daddy that loves the Lord and her mama!
I know that all these little things that I just wrote about will go away and fade from my memory but one thing is for sure...I ALREADY LOVE BEING BENNETT'S MAMA and that will NEVER go away or fade from my memory!
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